Wednesday, January 9, 2008

I am having a problem

Okay, I am having a problem and need some help.  I am not sure if anyone out there CAN help but I would love it if you TRIED...
I am tired and overwhelmed and the children are DRIVING ME NUTS!!!  I hate saying that.  I know I have so many wonderful things to be grateful and happy for and the four little ones (5 counting my husband) are the top five things but still, THEY ARE DRIVNG ME CRAZY!
I feel like I wake up and immediately have to start refereeing, cleaning, cooking, driving, organizing, cleaning (yes AGAIN), entertaining, and that is all before 9am. I have tried getting up earlier, but then they do too and the day is even longer. 
What am I going to do when these guys get older and they have even more on their plate?   If I can not handle it now, what am I going to do when it gets harder?  
I found myself so jealous of my husband who gets to go to work.  I know he works very hard and I am not trying to downplay what he does each day BUT he gets to leave, take a deep breath and break, and then come home with a better attitude (and a hot meal waiting for him)..... where is my time?  There seems to be no time for me to call a time out and I am quickly getting more and more frustrated with the kids, raising my voice more, when one of my resolutions was to be more patient.  How do I be more patient when THEY ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!  Someone once told me that being a mother is like being pecked to death by a bunch of ducklings.... sounds about right but there is no end to the pecking..... PECK PECK PECK PECK PECK PECK...can't they find someone else with some breadcrumbs??????


kitty said...

first of all, you're so brave to admit that. proud of you.
ok, let's think. it really sounds like you need some time each week that's just yours. can you hire a sitter, even just one afternoon a week? before you say you can't find one who'll take four kids, remember that you were willing and wonderful with a family of 4 when you were a teenager. is there a teen in the neighborhood that you trust? maybe you can get her for an afternoon - you get the kids home and she helps them with homework, fixes them supper (who cares if it's pb&j with marshmellows) and gets them ready for bed while you take a few hours to ... go take a nap in your car in the cul de sac around the corner? i don't know. just thinking.
or maybe chad can give you a saturday afternoon every
other week so you can go do whatever you want for a couple of hours. if it's really important to you and your sanity and your ability as a mother, push it with him. maybe you all can reach a compromise.
does that help?
another thought is to try to disengage some. is your reffing always needed or can you back out more? as my mom always said, a little good old fashioned neglect never hurt anyone. can the older ones help more? they don't always do chores perfectly, but maybe you can let the imperfections go? you have a little army on your hands - put 'em to work (within reason, of course).

kitty said...

ps - i just saw an ad for a washer and dryer that can handle 3 loads at once! i thought of you immediately!