Monday, November 12, 2007

A Fine Line

Okay... I am walking a fine line right now with my eldest child. He is having a hard time on the bus. So much of a hard time, that he does not want to ride the bus. He gets very upset before school and today even called me to come and get him because he was not feeling well. I do not know if he really did not feel well ( which I doubt because he was trying to ride his bike 1 hour after arriving home) or if he was afraid to ride the bus home. Something is going on and all I can get out of him is that he does not want to go. I have talked to the counselor at school and the principal. They said Barrett needs to figure out how to solve his own problems and stand up for himself if he needs something. My problem is this. I am a stay at home mom. He does not have to ride the bus. I can easily take him to school in the mornings and with a little trouble, pick him up in the afternoons; BUT, do I need to teach him to tough things out? Does he need to solve his own problems at the ripe old age of seven or is it okay for me to protect and shelter him a bit longer? I mean, really, isn't it our job as parents to watch over, care for, and look out for our little guys? Isn't it ultimately my job as a mom to protect him and help him feel safe and secure each day? I do not want him to grow up and be such a needy child that he can not take care of himself, but he is SEVEN...
I don't know what the right thing to do is... any tips????


Anonymous said...

ok, this breaks my heart. i have no idea what i'd do when my little boy is in the same position, but here's what i think.
maybe you should tell him that you think something's going on on the bus that's making him not want to ride. give him a chance to tell you what it is - offer up scenerios (is someone mean? did something happen that scared you? etc ...). if he doesn't open up, accept that and let him know he can talk to you when he's ready and ask you for help if he needs it - that you'll be there no matter what. then drop it and drop him off at the bus stop in a cheerful confident way (as if to say, hey kiddo i trust that it isn't something you need help with so if you say you're ok, i'm ok too). eventually he'll either work it out or feel like he needs to come to one of you for help.
i think that way he'll learn that he can trust you to be there and he'll also learn to trust himself.
easier said than done, right?
let me know how it goes???

Wanda said...

Keep up the good work.